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Chapter #21

Declan 2.0 (The WereDog and Miss Piggy)

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I didn't care. I just wanted to be left alone. So, I just
hid there on my bunk and stared at the blank walls
feeling sorry for myself.
This sucks.
This really, really sucks. My heart sank in my chest
as the reality of situation consumed me. I tossed and
turned until I finally fell asleep. I woke up at
dinnertime. All the doors opened, and I couldn't wait.
I was starvin’ Marvin. I jumped up and fell in line
with about sixty others.
The bald guy with the fat neck walked out of his cell
next to me and said in his goofy, shallow voice, “Hey,
how's it going?” His head was shaped like an egg and
could tell there was very little yolk in-between his
ears, if you know what I mean. “They call me Fester
Phartz.” He said with a smile.
Somehow, I just knew, so I rolled my eyes and
guessed, "Is that because it's your name?”
Puzzled, he asked, “Yeah, how did you know?”
“Wild guess I guess, I'm Duboc.”
There was a large black man in front of us in line
with faded white tattoos. He turned around and
looked angry to see me and as his eyebrows crinkled
up he pushed me and said, “I'm going to make you
my bitch.” I tripped back a few steps and then I found
my sense of stability just in time. He came at me, so I
stopped and leaned back with my foot way out and
sent him flying to the ground. I was astonished. I
couldn't believe that worked. I even pushed him a
little on the way down.

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He smacked his head on the ground and before he
could get up, I jumped back and started walking
swiftly up the line into the cafeteria.
I heard a "hey, hey" and some commotion behind me,
but I stood up straight and acted like it wasn't me.
Then I started looking around for a place to wash my
hands. He was grody looking and I was worried some
of his ickiness might have transferred onto me.
I cut in line in front a skinny, friendly-looking fella
and I got my dinner plate. Moving through the line,
they scooped some poop on it. Then I walked over
and sat down next to Fester, the egg-headed guy with
the fat wrinkled neck. He was sitting next to a weirdo
with a chameleon genetic modification. His scaly skin
was the color of the table and the floor but with
various patterns. His camouflaged skin looked kind of
cool in the orange puff suit and blended in with the
surroundings surprisingly well.
They were both talking about a movie that they'd
seen last night. Apparently, it had a sequel that they
were looking forward to seeing tomorrow night.
I asked, and Fester replied, “Yeah, as long as we
behave, they have movie night on Wednesdays and
Then he pointed at the reptile and joked, "His
name's Larry, Larry the lounge lizard. Hehe."
His tail curled up as both of his eyes looked down at
Fester and then they found mine. In an almost
feminine voice, he corrected Fester. He said, "Fester’s
kind of an idiot. Don't pay him any attention at all.
My name’s Karma Chameleon.”
Of course, it is, I thought, as I smiled and nodded.
I started to eat some green stuff. I was quite sure it
was going to make me sick before we got back to the
cells, but it smelled better than the red stuff
contaminating an entire edge of the green stuff.
I looked up at the guys then put my forehead down
into one of my hands and scratched my head a

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couple of times. Then I looked up and asked, "How
the fuck do people stay sane in here?”
Karma laughed right out loud and said, "It's no
different from out there. It's just a little more savage
and raw.”
I joked, "Like this green stuff?" while I stirred it with a
Fester laughed and said, "I hate prison food. Gives
me gas."
I smirked, "Is that where you get your nickname?"
"What nickname?" He replied with a blank stare.
"I don't know," I said and looked down at my plate
again real fast.
Dinner was over and we all started walking back to
our cells.
The guy I tripped earlier snuck up behind me and
whispered loudly, "My Bitch."
I stopped mid-stride and put my elbow into his
abdomen. I was not happy to be here and was in no
mood for that his kind of bullshit. He backed off all
bent over in pain, and I walked swiftly back to my
Fuck, man. This is not good. I wanted to crawl under
a rock and hide from my own life. I laid down and put
my woolly, itchy blanket over my head. That's about
all the hiding you can do in here.
I laid there freaking out and trembling from anxiety
for several hours. Eventually I calmed down and
started thinking about other things. My thoughts
drifted towards Tawana. Hmp, she thinks I'm a
badass outlaw.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm insane. My thoughts, they
ping pong.
Seems she had me pegged though, in some
sense, anyway.
I tossed and turned a little then finally fell asleep,
hoping that that sexy guard might come in and

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pleasure me. Yeah, man, that would definitely ease
my troubles.
Fat chance of that, though. I stretched long and hard
and then curled up into a fetal position where I fell
fast asleep.
Morning came, and I paid homage to the old stainless
throne then found my way to the bars in front of my
cage. Fester Phartz was up and leaning against the
bars in front of his cage just catty-corner from mine.
He lifted his hand that was hanging out into the hall.
I nodded my head and stood there.
Nothing else to do. I looked down at the dingy floor,
then up again and Fester smiled and pointed down
the hall.
A moment later I saw a guard escorting a short,
stocky fella down the way. I didn’t know what was
wrong with the guy, but he was walking kind of
weird. He'd take a step and then wobble and look
around then take a couple of more steps, pause and
wobble some more. His face was pale like he'd just
seen a ghost. He kept putting his head down and
kept his arms tucked in really close to his body. He
was all wide eyed, nervous.
The guard kept poking him with a stick to keep him
moving along. As they passed by my cage, I heard the
cell door next to mine open. His face was filled with
terror and cast a grim presence as he walked by my
cell. The guy looked over at me and his painfilled eyes
tore my very soul. The guard poked him through the
door then walked away as the door clanked and
locked shut. Looks like I got a creepy new neighbor.
I didn't know what to say, so I said, "Welcome home."
There was no reply. The silence slowly grew thick and
cold. I felt most awkward as I stood there waiting for
some kind of acknowledgment. None came. A queer,
and uneasy feeling filled the cells.

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I looked out the window, hoping a train might roll by
to break the tension, but nope. It just lingered and
faded eerily away.
A few hours later a buzzer sounded, and the doors
opened up and we all went to breakfast and then out
to the yard for some free time. I mostly kept to
myself. I felt abandoned and although I was
surrounded by all kinds of freaks, thieves, and
junkies, I felt all alone.
I saw bitch boy picking on someone else across the
yard. I guess he decided that I was no easy target.
Fester and Karma were playing cards on one of the
concrete picnic tables. There were some guys playing
basketball and others working out on some free
I walked over to the edge of the yard that was
adjacent to the parking lot in the front of the prison.
Must be my lucky day, I thought as I watched the
sexy guard walk out of the building to her roloball.
She has a very classy, sexy walk. I wannabe in love.
Why does my life have to be so messed up? I stood
there with my fingers hanging on the chain-link
fence, feeling sorry for myself as I watched her
bounce out of sight.
A while later the buzzer sounded and we all lined up
for the uni-showers. They were like an 'S' shaped
hallway with hoses lining the walls. When I entered
it, I saw a bright light flash just ahead of me. I
rounded the corner and the machines voice directed
me to, "Stop, stand still and close your eyes." Then a
bright flash, then, "Open your eyes and proceed," and
I was disrobed.
What the fuck was I thinking, helping those idiots rob
the casino? The shower rods on the second curve
went up spraying soap, then down spraying hot
water. At least the water's hot. The conveyor belt
stopped. I held out my arms and spread my legs for
the orange puff suit to be sprayed on, then exited the

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contraption. Funny how the suit ballooned up into a
baggy outfit in just moments. I wonder if the
chemicals they use cause cancer.
As I was making my way back, Fester was standing
outside of his cell door. He seemed excited to see me. I got
the feeling that he likes being in here.
He said, "I racked up on the poker game today. Check
it out." Then he pulled out his pocket full of
treasures. There was a guitar string, a couple of small
mirrors, and lots of Nicho-gels.
"Nice," I said.
"Do you play?" he asked.
"I don't know," I replied, "I don't really have anything
of value."
He said, "You should get on the work detail, go do
laundry or cook. You could earn few commissary
"Yeah, well, maybe," I replied.
He said, "Hey, Slimy's back," while pointing at him
across the hall. "He's your new neighbor. He just got
out of the VTC lab. You know, The Virtual Torture
Then the buzzer sounded, and I stepped into my cell.
“What did he do to have to go there?” I asked across
the hall.
Fester made a ring with his finger and thumb then
gestured masturbation while nodding his head
laughing, and then pointing over towards the cell
next to mine.
Oh, that's just great, I thought.
I went over and sat down on the bed. Then I twiddled
my thumbs for a couple of hours. The rest of the day
was quite uneventful. I talked to Fester across the
hall for a little while.
Found out he was in prison for strangling his sister
damn near to death. Said he worked for the family
business for the better part of his life. His parents

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died, and his sister inherited the business and he
didn't get another raise for eight years. His face
turned red, and his voice changed into one filled with
animosity as he explained, “Then she gave me a
fucking quarter, that's right, fucking twenty-five cent
raise. Can you believe it? After eight years!”
I could see he was insulted, and who wouldn't be? I
just shook my head no.
“Oh, I snapped,” he said. “Now here I am.”
I didn't feel comfortable telling him my story, so I
pretty much kept it to myself. Vaguely I told him that
I was trying to get back at someone that stole my
winnings at the casino.
Dinnertime came around and I sat down with Fester
and Karma again. It was slightly entertaining to
watch Karma roll his chameleon eyes around
independent of each other.
I glanced around the cafeteria and a certain character
in line caught my attention. His back was hunched
over, and his nose was genetically modified to look
like a pit bull’s snout. I laughed and said, “Look at
that freak, what a dog.”
Karma gave me the evil eye, which was pretty funny
coming from him.
Fester said excitedly, “Hey, Butter's back.” As I
watched the weredog walk up to our table wagging
his tail.
“What's up, Butter?” Fester asked.
Then Butter made a noise like a dog's happily
whining before he spoke, “Owerrrrr, you know, just
another day in the big house.”
I could hardly stand to look at him. His doggy nose
and face were human flesh, but his hair and floppy
ears were very doglike, and he talked out of the side
of his mouth so his dog lips could pronounce enough
to understand.
Fester leaned in towards me from across the table
and whispered in confidence, “Butter is an

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underground sex slave.” Then he put his finger up to
his lips and did the “Shhh” thing.
In disbelief, I muttered, “No way.” Then I chewed the
food that was in my mouth a few times, swallowed
and said, “There's just no way.”
Butter looked over at Fester and growled at him, then
he said, “Yeah, like someone would hire a dog face
like mine for sex.”
I could barely make out his words. I looked over at
Fester who was nodding his bald head and smiling,
as if to say he really was. I looked over at Butter and
watched drool slowly ooze down from his saggy
bottom lip till it dropped onto his plate. Nobody else
seemed to notice it.
Here I am in a prison filled with perfectly normal
criminals and deadbeats, and I wind up eating with
the freak show.
Butter licked his plate clean and I just couldn't finish
eating after watching it. Yep, my appetite flew right
out the window. Just as well, I guess, the food tasted
like dog food anyway. Hmm.
I looked up at Karma just in time to watch his tongue
flick out and snatch an unsuspecting fly that had
landed on the wall next to us. It was all I could take. I
got up and said, “You gentleman excuse me. I'm
going to my cell now.”
A little surprised, Fester said, “You're going to miss
movie night?”
“Oh, I forgot about that,” I replied. Karma said,
“Come on. Let's go get a good a seat before the rest of
the cell block finishes eating.”
So I followed them to the HV room. There were about
forty chairs all mounted to the floor and we were
lucky enough to be some of the first ones in. Fester,
Butter, and Karma piled into the second row back
from the stage and I sat down on the end next to
Karma. We sat around talking small talk and the
others were filling in me on what I'd missed last

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week. As I sat there next to a handful of genetically
modified freaks I thought my life would've been a
good science fiction movie in my grandfather’s eyes.
Looking around the room there was a couple of
prisoners leaning against the wall talking to each
other, and the rest of the chairs were filling up fast.
From what I could gather, the movie was part two of
the sci-fi thriller called “The Cyber Invasion.” The plot
sounded kind of stupid and predictable. It was about
some college kids that were running simulations on
the creation of the universe on a quantum computer.
They were studying super massive black holes and
galactic creation when some of the galaxies spurred
planets with life on them. The ending of the first show
was that life on one of the planets had become
intelligent and the kids started playing God while the
professor was out getting a heart transplant.
Before his injection, he warned them not to
advance the model beyond our current time frame.
He said that doing so might be very dangerous. After
all, they were evolving the entire fourteen-billion year
history of the universe in a mere six days.
It was a typical sci-fi thriller. Anyone could guess
what happened next. The kids went for a beer run
and the couple left behind to keep an eye on things
decided to have sex for an extended amount of time.
The intelligent life that was created was trying to
figure out how to destroy the college kids, and of
course, the rest of the god family, humankind.
The acting was mediocre, but at least the college girls
were hot. Then I noticed that one of the actors
seemed to look right at me and there for about a
nanosecond his face disfigured and looked like QD
Well, he is a master hacker. And a master
hologrammer. I decided to get up and walk just past
the front row of seats. I yawned and stretched a little,

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then QD showed up right at the edge of the
holoprojector’s range.
He held up a sign that asked, “How ya doin?”
I nodded and lipped okay and tilted my hand back
and forth out in front of me. We couldn't really talk to
each other for obvious reasons. The room was full not
only of speakers and a microphone or two, but
guards and prisoners as well.
His two-dimensional image was easily cloaked as long
as nobody was in between me and the holoprojector.
Then he opened a VeeM that read, I thought you might
like this, and I saw Tawana enter into one of the
rooms at the resort. She walked up to the camera
and kissed it then backed away and started wiggling
to some music that I could only imagine. She rolled
her head around while dancing, twirling, and
twerking, and her long, sea-anemone hair flung
around and around, displaying amazing neon colors.
Then colored strobe lights started flashing off her
shiny scales as she slowly. seductively, started
undressing and teasing the audience with some hot
moves on a stripper pole. There was a large bed in
the backdrop. I went back to my seat when she laid
down on it and started touching herself for the close
up. It all faded from view quickly.
What the fuck, man. The last thing I need is to get
horny in this place. After the movie we all were
directed to return to our cells. I went to bed as soon
as I got into my cell and tried to sleep, but there just
wasn't enough skin left to close my eyes. I was hard
as a rock. I tossed and turned, but just couldn't stop
thinking about Tawana, and her scratchy tongue,
and how she popped up out of the water and asked
with that devilish smile, “Was it the best ever?”
I can't believe I'm in lust with a fish.
She was good, though. The best ever, indeed. I
started to touch myself in a sneaky manner, but then
the lights went out and Slimy next door groaned

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loudly like a man in pain. He moaned, cried, and
whimpered like a baby. It went on for hours and
Fuck, man, what did they do to him? I know sex is
strictly forbidden in here, in any form, or manner,
but come on.
I could almost feel him cringing from the sound of his
pain as he yelped and screamed here and there all
night. The nightmare in his head must have been
My pinochle shriveled up to nothing and I pretty
much decided to never touch it again.
Several days or maybe even weeks rolled slowly by.
Slimy next door never left his cell, spoke, or even
made a peep during the daytime, but every night you
could hear him having nightmares.
It was scary and right next door. His pain drained me
every night.
In the meantime, I got to be pretty good friends with
the freak show gang. We played a lot of poker in the
yard. I borrowed some nicho-gels from Fester and
won enough to pay him back. Then we just borrowed
and paid each other back a lot.
Then one day I was sitting in my cell, reading a novel
called, “The Adventures of Clayton Beal,” when that
sexy guard came to my door and said, “Doobie
Duboc, you have a visitor.” Then the cell door opened
wide and she stretched her arms out and grabbed the
bars up high on each side of the entrance. Her
uniform opened up at the top exposing some cleavage
as she pushed her breasts out towards me and
wiggled them for my viewing pleasure. I wanted to
squeeze them so bad my mouth was watering.
I said, “I'm so in love with you, and I don't even know
your name.”
She looked left, then right then privately blew me a
kiss and answered giggling, “It's Rosy,” Then she

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paused a moment and reiterated, “Rosy Palm,” with a
Then she moved out of the way and we strolled down
the hallway as she made pleasant small talk to try
and get to know me. We were walking really slow and
close. I'm pretty sure she took the long way. Nice! I
could smell her hair and her feminine softness
radiating from her voluptuous being.
She was saying something about her nickname, Miss
Piggy, and how much she hated it, but for the life of
me I couldn't figure out why anybody would call this
living doll Miss Piggy. Maybe she’d lost a few pounds
I don't know. I didn't ask. When we got to the door, I
looked really close at her, studying her pretty face
just before she opened the door. She had big dark
eyes and shiny, jet black hair pulled up into a bun,
and I noticed her tiny nose did curl up ever so
slightly. It certainly wasn't pig like though. Oh, well,
who knows.
She opened the door and I walked into a room with a
row of windows and she pointed to the one with my
visitor. It was Tonto.
It almost felt strange not kissing her goodbye. She
said, “See ya later, Doobie Du.”
Tonto said, “Shoo, what a babe, maybe I should go to
jail. So, how ya holding up in there Doobie Duboc.”
I said, “Okay, I guess. Getting caught up on a
lot of reading you know.”
He said, “Don't worry. These things take time.”
“What things?” I asked, “My trial?”
“No Doofus, setting up a new identity for you. It's not
like you stole a boat and took it for a joy ride.”
I liked the boat ride, that was cool. Then I looked at
him and smiled politely as I tuned him out
completely. I didn't even tell him that I had stolen a
boat recently. I just started reminiscing and thought,

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Roloballs and flying saucers are kind of scary, but
that boat was awesome.
While he kept talking about something completely
different, I came into my own when I heard Tawana's
name come up.
I said, “What was that about Tawana?”
“Ugh, you haven't heard a word I've said, have you?”
He sighed, shook his head in disbelief and
admitted, “I think I'm in love.”
“With Tawana?” I asked.
I saw a look in his eyes like he'd just put something
Then he asked, “Do you know somebody named
Tawana Duboc?”
I grinned a big ole southern grin and kept my silence.
He said, “Listen, you don't know this Tawana, She's a
high-end fashion model from New York.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I probably know some other
Tawana,” I told him.
Then I sniffed the air here and there and said, “I
smell something fishy,” and then made a sour face to
sell the comment.
His natural reaction?
He sniffed his fingers, then he looked up and
laughed and said, “Oh, you do know her.”
I replied, “Yeah, somebody told me she was coming
down here to do some modeling and maybe a strip
tease or something for the resort’s private adult
“Oh, no, no, no. Tawana's way to classy for that. She
came down here to model new outfits available in
some of the high-end shops, along with some
swimwear and possibly some lingerie.” Then he
tucked his head down and whispered, “I did get to see
her do a little private number for me the other night
QD, I thought to myself, That fucker’s shameless.

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Then Tonto said, “It was sweet. Oh by the way,
thanks for letting me use your robot. I put him to
work doing all kinds of things. Funny thing about
that fucker, though, I keep finding him over by
Victor's office. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he's
getting high on helium. It's weird.”
I told him, “Yeah, I bought him real cheap. He was
supposed to have been recalled for a faulty mother
board, but I got it programmed to keep cool somehow
and he's been running the numbers and keeping his
board cool ever since.”
He replied, “One might say he's getting high on life,”
and I knew that he knew.
I asked him, “So, I guess New York's still recovering
from the incident.”
I was fishing to see if I'd left the place in total ruins.
I'm sure I would have heard something by now,
He told me, “Well, Tawana said that they did get most
of the transportation web all connected back
together, and things are at least running smoothly
No definitive information there. So, I prodded a little
deeper. “All those buildings falling at once, I bet that
had to be pretty scary, huh?”
He said, “Duboc, one building fell.”
“Oh yeah, I knew that,” I said.
Interesting, QD, what a liar. Why would he guilt me
like he did? Hmm, Well, I guess I did try to kill him.
What a relief.
Tonto said, “Listen, there's some archaeologists
coming to town in a couple of months and, they're
going to be needing some trenchers.”
“Trenchers?” I exclaimed.
“Yeah you know, some prisoners to help them dig
deep into the old garbage dump.”

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“No way, I ain't doing it,” I said shaking my head no.
“No way, no how am I trenching in some garbage
The guard on duty said in a commanding voice,
“Time’s up.”
Tonto whispered, “El plan-o E. Scape-o.”
I'm pretty sure it was code for something stupid, but I
ain't doing it.
I got up, told him that next time he visited, I wanted
some of Cherahontas' pie.
He didn't get it but just waved goodbye.
The burly guard that was escorting me back to my
cell looked at me with a hint of sarcasm on his face
and said, “They come less and less as the weeks,
months, and years drag by,” emphasizing the word
drag by dragging it out, as we passed prisoner after
prisoner on the way back.
He tilted his head and eyes at one of them and said,
“That one there, his wife used to come every day for
about a month straight.” Then he paused for a few
steps, looked at me and added, “Hasn't seen her in
We walked a little further and he gestured his head
again and said, “That boy’s mom-ma used write him
letters and visit all the time. Used to bake him cakes
and send pictures of his daughter.” Then we stopped
at my door, he looked me square in the eyes and
said, “The visits and the letters just faded away like
the years gone by.”
The thought 'bout sent me to tears. I manned up and
slipped into my ever-shrinking cage. The walls were
closing in and claustrophobia started overwhelming
me to the point where I just had to scream right out
Silence, the only echo.
Then Slimy said his first words since they brought
him back from the lab. “Dude, you alright in there?”

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I swallowed a hard swallow and answered chokingly,
“Yeah, ahem, I just had to let it out, man. Sorry if I
bothered you.”
“No worries,” he answered.
Dinner rolled around, and the crew and I sat down
like always. We were all discussing the hot blonde
that was in the movie last night and eating
yesterday’s leftovers with some beans on top. I was
quite sure that Mr. Phartz will live up to his father's
name tonight.
I looked up and Slimy was in the house. With his
walk and demeanor, that poor fella looked like a
whipped pup. I got the feeling that he wasn't very
stable when I saw him take the spork off his tray and
hold it in a defensive position. He must've been
warding off ghosts because there wasn't anybody
there, at least not where he was pointing the flimsy
weapon. There were just some prisoners in line in the
front and back of him, but they didn't even notice. He
glanced around the cafeteria and saw me looking at
him. Then he quickly put his head down again as he
hobbled his way to the food line slowly.
I finished eating and got up to mosey on out to the
yard. I heard Karma pull out his chair. He got up and
joined me on my way out to the yard. We made a little
small talk and parted ways as we exited the building.
I'd started walking around the yard lately after eating.
I think walking is good for the body and the mind. It
sure helps me to keep my sanity in this place.
About half way around the yard, I saw dog lips come
out. He was pulling a deck of cards out of his pocket
and shuffling them as I rounded the fence line. I
walked up to the table and found my spot.
The poker and the Bull shiting was going on like
always until about halfway through the game. I
noticed one of Karma's eyes looking sharply to the
left. And you have to watch'em both pretty close

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playing poker with him. But he said, “Look, Slimy's
I turned around and looked. Slimy flinched as the
daylight hit him in the face. Then he turned and
looked straight at me with piercing eyes. Gave me the
heebie-jeebies. Ew.
Fester laughed and yelled out, “Hey, Slimy, come
have a seat and play some poker with us.”
I kicked him hard under the table, hard. He just
turned his head and gave me a face like, “What?”
Then he said lowly, “He’ll be an easy target. We'll kill
him. Besides, he took a big stash with him before
they took him to the lab. I want to win it back.”
Well I didn't like it, but I didn't have a big stash to
bribe him with so, we played a few more hands as
Slimy creeped over to the table.
It was Butters’ deal, so he called out, “In or out,
Slimy ignored him and turned his attention to me
and asked, “Are you alright?” He put his hand on my
shoulder. Yeah, it was so gross. Especially because I
immediately thought of Fester's gesturing as I pulled
my shoulder back.
“Yeah, but don't touch me, I kinda got a thing, you
know.” I said.
Fester was on a winning streak and he loved
poker. Especially when he was winning. Butter
wanted to get on with the game, so he threw is arms
up and whined, “In or out, loser?” While starring at
Slimy looked all around and asked, “When was the
last time they came?”
Karma asked, “Who?” while flicking his eyes
every which way.
Slimy said, “You know who.” as his eyes shifted back
and forth once more before sitting down.
Butter assumed out loud, “In,” then licked his nose
as he started dealing.

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The table was eerily quiet after that. It was as if Slimy
was a bullshit dam or something. I started drumming
my hands on the table just to break the silence.
Slimy's hands were trembling as he held the cards in
them. And he kept looking around like he was
expecting something. I wanted to ask him what it was
like in there, but I didn't dare.
We played cards quietly and swapped Nicho-gels for a
few hands.
I broke the silence and asked Slimy, “Did you get
Hisler? I heard she's the worst.”
His eyes grew wide as he looked up at me and shook
his head no.
Then he stared back down at his cards.
The silence faded back to black.
Fester was raking it in. Definitely the man to beat
Butter farted, and I thought, 'Now we know, fat dogs
do fart.
Some passing thought startled Slimy. He tightened
up and looked at everybody with an intensely insane
look in his eyes, then he said in an anxious,
disturbed voice, “If it bleeds, it seeds.” He jumped up
and slammed his hands on the table while staring at
all of us with his bloodshot, bulging eyes. Then he
exclaimed, “If it bleeds, it seeds!”
I shuddered to the bone for one of those moments
that seemed to last forever.
Then Fester uttered, “Full house! Aces and eights”
and laid cards down for everyone to see.
Slimy snapped. In a sudden instant he dropped all
the cards in his hand but one and sliced Fester's
throat wide open with its edge. Butter woofed loudly
with cross eyebrows and snatched Slimy's arm in his
pit bull mouth, as Karma and I went flying back out
of the way of the blood pumping out of his neck.
Fester quickly grabbed his neck to cover his gaping
wound. His fingers turned red as the blood leaked out

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between them as I watched the ace of spades tumble
to the ground.
Shocked, my heart stopped beating and I froze in
disbelief. The guards were quick to respond.
It all happened in a flash and the next thing I knew,
we were all being carted off in cuffs to separate
interrogation rooms up by the main office.
They put us all in separate rooms that were similar to
the interrogation room back at the police station.
Fuck, I hope they don't make us wait for hours. That
was bad last time. Fucking Slimy, what a snappa
cracka. I couldn't believe it. I sat there trembling for a
few more moments as images of the event kept
flashing by in my mind.
The door clunked as the handle turned, breaking the
otherwise silent room. Then Rosy walked in, gave me
a stern look, and bent slightly to lock the door behind
her. Then she turned and stood up straight, smiling
and throwing her voluptuous breasts out towards me.
She walked over swinging, I mean just a swinging
those hips, man. Her red tongue licked her whiskey
lips as she walked up and wrapped her arms around
me and she started kissing, then tongue kissing me
right there. With great skill she had my zipper down
and her hand in my undies squeezing my swelling
I couldn't believe it.
Breathing heavily and flushed, she moaned, “Ooh,
look who's throwing above average,” as she squeezed
and jerked me. “Hurry, we don't have much time.
Then she turned around and lifted her tight little
uniform dress up while bending over the table. She
turned around licked her lips and guided me in with
her hand between her legs. She was so wet and
moaned as I slid my full erection inside of her.
I was all inside of that, quickly, yet quietly pumping
and grinding with both hands around the small of
her back, gripping her hips and pulling her in tightly.

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Fuck, it felt so good, Hmmp, hmmp, and so wet,
Hmmp, hmmp, and fuck woman, ever heard of Kegel?
She was moaning, “Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, fuck me,”
and she reached her hand down to tickle my balls
and accidentally scratched my rock with her
fingernail. I just kept on going, and she said, “Yeah,
put it in four-wheel drive, cowboy. Run it into the
I figured it out, and I didn't want to but obliged her
request. She started squeezing it like she'd pinched a
loaf or two in her time, and then she started
Squeeeeeeeeeaque, snrt snrt strttt.”
It was quite the experience and wildly entertaining.
Putting my dick in an ass is not something I'd
normally do but, ewe, no I thought as I came. I pulled
out and it was ever so slightly odoriferous.
Being a lady of that nature, she had her handbag
fully equipped with alcohol wipes. I jumped and held
back a yelp as the she ran the wipe over the newborn
scratch on my wanker.
She grabbed me, strong as a man, and ran her
tongue down my throat, kissing me hard, then she
pulled back and said, “It's time,” while pulling down
on her uniform.
We walked out the door like nothing had happened,
just a very intense interrogation. Nothing more. She
said to her captain on the way out, “I'm taking this
one back to his cell, I scared the shit out of him and
he needs to clean up.”
He just nodded and said, “Just hurry back and file
your report.”
She kept grabbing my ass every time we were out of
eye-shot, or camera shot. I was feeling pretty good. I
needed that worse than I’d thought. I was glad I had
my clothes back on, though I'm not sure why.

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She smiled, reached down, and groped me as I
walked around her to get in my cell, and said, “I knew
you were going to be good. I just knew it.”
I cracked a smile and winked at her. Then I went and
sat down on the bed.
She said, “See you around, Doobie Duboc.” Then did
the invisible hula-hoop a couple of rounds, smiled
and walked away.
Wow, that was a trip. I wonder if Phartz is okay. That
was some serious blood coming out of his neck.
Fuck'n Slimy, what the hell was he thinking? They'd
probably put him back into the virtual torture
chamber forever. I don't think he ever left it, in his
own mind. VTC lab, what sick and twisted thing, how
could anybody do that to another human being. All
he’d done was masturbate. I didn’t think that should
even qualify for sex. That poor bastard. He'll never be
the same.