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Chapter #17

Declan 1.1 (Helium)

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I thought about the table. I couldn't remember wiping my fingerprints off
of it.
Man, I just couldn’t remember. Surely I did.
Nope, I didn't. Fuck, I couldn't remember.
All of sudden, I became overwhelmed with paranoia.
Oh shit. They were probably looking for it by now.
Fuck, what if they found it already?
Without a second thought, I scurried to the back of the casino. The small
crowd in the lobby and bar suggested the tournament was still being played. I
slowly opened the door and crept out, easing over to the cart. I pulled off my
shirt to wipe it down when all of a sudden I saw the headlights of a roloball
coming down the ramp across the small parking lot where I was standing.
Oh shit, they were making a U-turn and heading my way.
Like a bolt of lightning, panic shocked my veins. I dropped to my knees
and crawled as fast as I could to the maintenance man's office, slipping
through the door and praying that nobody saw me. Before I could even close
the door, the people in the roloball were stepping out only a few feet away.
If I closed the door, they'd hear it for sure.
I closed it as much as I could so as not to make a sound. I could hear
them, a man and a woman, laughing and talking like young lovers, as I put my
shirt back on. I used legs and heels to scooch my butt across the dirty floor
and up against the side of the desk in front of the window that looked out
across the parking lot.
The door had recoiled a bit, leaving about a half-inch sliver that revealed
the other side.
As I peeked out, I could see the couple standing by the rear entrance
door. I was pretty sure that was Michio, but that was not Cherahontas. From

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what I could tell, it was a pale, blond woman in a short red skirt, with skinny
legs with knobby knees.
She seemed to be almost forcing herself on Michio. She grabbed his
crotch, breathlessly begging, “Take me, Mitch. Come on, let's do it right here.”
Then she walked out of view, but I saw the corner of the money cart move as
she said, “Take me right now over this table.”
The corner of the cart moved around and back and forth a few times, and
Michio said, “Look, Vick left his office door open. Come on, let's go inside and
I'll jack you up right, honey.”
“Ow, baby! Come on,” the woman moaned.
Agh, fuck. No!
My heels dug in, and—BAM!—just like that I was under the desk and
pulling the Desk Lounger 5000 in close to me. Oh my fuck!
Needless to say, the numbness had left me.
Breathe. Hhf, hhf, hhf.
Oh fuck.
The office door flew open, and Michio twirled his mistress, one, two, three
times, her flying skirt revealing charms soon to be told.
I’m going to die.
I’m going to die.
Boom, boom.
Oh fuck.
Michio bent her over, pulled up her skirt, and started spanking her bare
ass. She was bent over my hidey hole, and I had a front row seat between the
desk chair’s slats.
Her pussy was within sniffing distance.

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Michio’s trousers dropped to his ankles, and instantly I found penis
envy, mixed with fear and excitement, pulsing through every fiber of my being.
This gal was about to be stretched, man.
I wondered if Cherahontas paid extra for that damn thing.
It’d make a porn star blush.
The blond woman turned around and asked, “What's a matter, baby?
Can't get it up? Did I wear you out?”
And she started squeezing and jacking it, and then she wet it with her
mouth and tongue.
“Oh baby, I'm going to fuck your brains out,” Michio growled.
“I don't know, I got a lot of brains,” she purred, both hands around the
stiffening object of her desire.
She turned around and bent over again, and he eased the mule in. I
heard her groan.
And then he started thrusting harder and harder, and I could tell she
was holding back as she groaned quietly, “Oh yeah, oh my, oh, oh!” The
anaconda slipped in and out. Michio’s balls swung like a pendulum, back and
forth, as he ground and thrusted, except when the woman reached back to
tickle them with her crushed velvet red fingertips, and “Oh! Oh, oh!”
And they fucked. And fucked and fucked—and, man, Ron Jeremy would
have envied this man’s stamina. But finally they came, and it was one of the
most exciting orgasms I'd ever witnessed in my life.
I was pretty sure I even came a little as I hid there, barely breathing. I'd
seen porno, and, I mean, I thought I was pretty good with some of my exes, but
these two were incredibly passionate lovers.
As they were getting dressed, I heard the pale blond say in a low, sexy
voice, “Michio, it's okay. Did you talk to her about me yet?”
“No. No, she would never go for that,” he sighed. Then, “Just give me a
little more time. You'll see.”

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Then they both left the office and went their way. I heard a door open
and close, and the roloball rolled away into the distance. I noticed the license
plate: Barbie1.
I sat there under the desk, afraid to move for several seconds.
I noticed the can of helium that fell to the floor earlier.
I leaned my head back and just rested for moment.
I didn't even have time to wipe my prints off the table.
Fucking QD.
He was the reason I was in all of this mess.
If I'd never met him, I was sure none of this would have happened.
Yeah, he'd been bad luck ever since I met him.
If it weren't for him, I'd probably be back home, hanging out at the
Funky Buddha and sneaking into different classes at FAU.
I would've probably met a nice girl by now, and I'd be in love. I wanna be
in love. I love being in love.
I eased the chair out and grabbed the top of the desk, pulling myself up.
I found my feet and put my hands behind my back, stretching and twisting my
torso left and right. I let my breath out slowly as I took a couple of steps
towards the side window. I lifted the blinds at eye level and peeked out.
Once again, I saw the resort’s back door swing open.
This time I went through the door that led back into the little shop and
crouched down behind a work bench.
I didn't think my legs could take crouching under the desk any longer.
Just about the time I ducked down, I heard the door open. It was Victor.
He was talking to someone over his com and said, “Yeah, that's what I heard.
Somebody stole all of the money, right in front of everybody. They’re going
through the videos now to try and find something.”
He pulled out the chair under the desk and stood on top of it for some
reason. Then I heard him lock the office door on his way out.

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Man, I couldn't believe he just did that.
I got up and took a good look at the deadbolt. Of course it was double
Man, I didn't wanna be stuck here all fucking night. What am I going to
do now?
I closed the blinds on the door window a little tighter, then sat down in
the chair and looked around the small room. It still smelled like sex, so I
turned on a small oscillating fan on the corner of the desk. I spun around in
the chair a couple of times and was thankful the arms didn't fit under the desk
very well.
Then I stared at the small can of liquid helium lying on the floor.
I'd probably be in jail by this time tomorrow night.
If only I'd never met Fuckmo. He was the devil. I was quite sure of it. I
mean, machines didn't have a soul. And if he did have one, it was rotten to the
I laughed at him inside a little. Then I shook my head back and forth as I
remembered his little con speech back at the Synopsis Five building.
‘You could be a god like me…For a small fee.’
What a dolt.
Funny, there in the saucer and in the stairwell, he really seemed to care.
I felt so close to him, like a brother or a favorite pet or something.
A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, though, and when your pet
turns on you, you have to take care of business. That’s all there is to it. I had
to destroy him before he caused anyone else harm. I could just see him now,
taking over the world with his soulless, quantum-chip brain.
He scared a lot of good people half to death back there at the Blue Judas
restaurant with those holograms of demons twirling and pissing on the
patrons. And only God knows why he picked John to take the fall for the bank
robbery. He had to know how much it'd piss me off. He probably wanted to test
me, see if I'd do anything about it.

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Maybe he was just jealous over my best friend, like a little bitch or
There was a reason the NSA wanted to destroy him.
I sat there for hours staring at that can and convincing myself that QD
was the Antichrist, a soulless machine sent to ravage and punish mankind into
oblivion. I mean, obviously the damn thing had no conscience or sense of
Just then, I had an epiphany. If QD could steal one of the United States
Marine Corps' quantum-tech flying saucers, and if his quantum brain could
crack any code just like that, then he could probably control every military
drone and combat bot ever built by mankind.
Whoa! Talk about an army of one!
What a thought. There'd be no stopping him. Practically every nation's
military on Earth would be at his disposal.
Holy shit!
My God, what kind of Frankenstein's monster have we created?
He’s an evil, soulless machine designed to control all of our other evil,
soulless machines and use them against us!
There was no doubt. There was just too much power in the hands of a
single, artificially intelligent being. It was up to me to save mankind.
I thought about these things practically all night. The pressure of the
impending responsibility was overwhelming. My muscles tightened with
Deep down, I kind of liked the guy.
I got up and picked up the canister. Clutching it tight in my hand, I
sprayed a little on the door lock, then hit it with the bottom of the can. It
shattered into a million pieces.
I mustered up all the courage I could find as I opened the door. I was
walking. I was walking tall. My breath filled my nostrils and lungs deeply with
purpose. I was a man on a mission.

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The sun's first light was cresting Earth’s morning sky as I made my way
to the casino's back door. I reached down to pull it open, but it smashed me
square in the face.
Victor, the maintenance tech, was making his way to work with a large
cup of coffee that nearly spilled.
“Be more careful,” he huffed as he pushed his way around me. Then he
said, “I'm sorry, but the boss is on the warpath this morning. Somebody stole
the tournament prize money last night, and the shit is going to hit the fan if the
thief came out this door right here last night.”
I just stood there rubbing my forehead and trying to get my brain back
on to the mission.
I resumed my quick and direct pace down the corridor. Okay, okay.
Damage report: face hurt, the shit was going to hit the fan and I was the shit,
but Victor hadn't noticed the helium in my hand.